The Purpose in the Pain

"In the crushing, in the pressing

You are making new wine

In the soil, I now surrender

You are breaking new ground

So, I yield to You and Your careful hand

When I trust You, I don’t need to understand”

New Wine // Hillsong Worship

It has been a whirlwind of a year so far. On one hand, I cannot believe that it’s almost the middle of April. On the other hand, I feel like I have been caught in a constant state of “Why, God?” I find myself constantly asking God why I continue to feel these growing pains, and why they seem to never end.

I am in a season of uncertainty, change, and questioning.

It is in this season where I have had to press into the Lord and trust in His promises. I’ll just be vulnerable: It has been a difficult season to walk through. I don’t sit here and talk to you because I have walked out of this season of uncertainty, change, and questioning. I simply sit here and talk to you because you may be walking through a similar season. I am thankful that in this time of pressing that I have learned and grown so much so far, and I am not done yet. I just want to share some of the things that I have struggled with, and what I have learned from a couple of those things.

Growth.

It hurts, y’all. Really bad sometimes. Not very many people know the struggle I had with not applying to be an RA for next year, but I’ll catch you up. From the moment I knew I was going to come to SAGU, I knew that I wanted to be an RA. The plan I had made for myself (big no no) went something like this: I will go to school and get settled my first year, and then I will apply and become an RA the next year. That was my plan, and of course our plans always work out (sarcasm). As I was getting ready to fill out an application, I felt absolutely no peace about it at all. I knew in my spirit that something wasn’t right. I even sat down, ignoring the uneasiness I was feeling, and tried to answer the questions. The funny part about it is that I knew all of those things about myself, but I just couldn’t bring myself to fill out the answer- or even write anything for that matter. Weird, right? After wrestling and questioning the Lord, I knew that I absolutely could not work against Him and follow my own plan. I had to surrender what I wanted for the things that God wanted. Watching your plans fall apart is a really hard thing to witness, but I have grown from that. I am fully confident that I (with the help of the Holy Spirit of course) made the right decision. Who knows? Maybe I am called to serve as a CL for another year. Maybe I am called to just serve with my actions every single day, without holding a title or positon, and I am okay with that.

Change.

It’s so funny how we get so used to our lives and the order of everything in it, and then one day the metaphorical rug is pulled completely out from under your feet. This year is so different from anything I have ever experienced before. I am wrapping up my first year of college, relationships have formed, others have had to adjust, and I am going on a crazy exciting adventure this summer- things are not the same; they have changed. Four years, or even one year, ago, I would have never even pictured that this is how my life would be right now. Change is scary sometimes, but as a dear friend said to me at the beginning of the year, “Change means growth and growth means change.” How true is that, though? This change has been painful, but it has been so amazing to see the hand of God in every single part of it.

Friends,

I know that the unknown is hard. I know that the season you may be walking through might seem like you will never see the other side. I know that there is pain in waiting. So, what is the purpose of all of this pain anyway? Looking at my personal season and situation, I am confident that the purpose of the pain is the promise that is waiting on the other side. You may not be able to see that clearly right now, but I can assure you that it’s there. God has already made a promise to you, and He doesn’t break His promises; He is faithful to them until the end. When you are walking through a difficult season, keep in mind that He sees you, He knows you, He loves you, and He wants the absolute best for your life. He is for you, every single time. Through pressing and the crushing, know that there is new ground breaking. Know that there is a purpose to the pain. Know that your promise is waiting on the other side of the struggle. Trust in Him, His goodness, and His promises, because He will never let you down.

As always, if you are in need of a listening ear or someone to pray for/with you, I am always here for you! I am praying that you would be strengthened by the promises of the Lord and that you would press into Him during this season of pain. I love you all- blessings.