NOW Is the Time

"If being a servant is below you, then being a leader is beyond you."

In case you haven't been keeping up with me, I just got back from my third mission trip to Nicaragua. God has done some amazing things throughout these past 8 days, and I just wanted to share a little with you all.

This year was a difficult fundraising season for me. In the past, I sold shirts and that took care of all my expenses right off the bat. This year, however, I had to work a little harder. After selling shirts, I was still about $1,000 short of what I needed. I remember feeling so discouraged and just honestly helpless. I can recall asking God, "Is this Your way of telling me to not go to Nicaragua?" I had never felt so much failure before while fundraising. It was about 3-4 days before my last payment of $900 was due, and I only had $100 of it. It was a Sunday so, naturally, I walked into church with a fake smile on my face; I was so worried behind the scenes. My MeMe had mentioned to the congregation that I was a little short on my payment and encouraged them to pray about if they should donate or not. Throughout the altar call I sat in the pew, head in my hands, and just wept to God. I began to just share my heart with Him, and asked Him to stir people's hearts to give. That Sunday I received around $1,800 (no, I'm not exaggerating... I just did the math). God is still the God of miracles, and it was a miracle that I was even ably to go back to Nicaragua, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

When we landed in Nicaragua, a huge wave of emotions swept over me. I felt relief to be in a place that felt like "home" to me. I honestly teared up because I was so incredibly happy to be back in the place that stole my heart two years ago. Since this was my third year to go, I wanted to experience Nicaragua in a whole new way. I wanted a fresh experience, like it was my first time again. Let me just tell you, everything was completely different, but it was so refreshing. Our NTX group (shoutout to them for being so great) was split this year. My part of the group went to Matagalpa, which is basically my favorite place in the whole world. My prayer for last week was that I would be intentional; I wanted to see souls before I saw faces. I wanted to be led, used, and stretched in ways that I had never been before. I wanted to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I was completely relying on God to take my willingness and put it into action, and that's exactly what He did. I saw ministry in a whole new light. It wasn’t about if I knew every single move to a dance or drama, it was all about my heart. In fact, it had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with the love of Jesus that was instilled into my heart. I was ready, willing, and expectant. Throughout the week, the Lord broke down the language barrier (which is always the biggest struggle for me) and allowed me to form beautiful relationships with the children of Matagalpa.

I remember a specific moment when I was praying and I just said, “God I want you to break my heart for what breaks Yours.” Instantly, I began to weep over the children I was praying for. It was in that moment that I realized the power of prayer. The scripture “Silver or gold I do not have but what I have I give to you” began to stick out to me. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter that my first language is English or that I didn’t have all the answers; all that mattered was that I could give the love of Jesus. One of the missionaries there said earlier that week that it didn’t matter what we didn’t have. It only mattered what we did have, and that really came to life for me. Being able to share love and kiss the little children of Nicaragua has been such a huge blessing to me. Hearing testimonies from the nationals at Castillo Del Rey has touched my heart in so many aspects. I will never be the same after last week. All week I kept hearing the voice of God saying, “NOW is the time. Follow Me and go.” Up until now it’s always been “Be still and wait.” Y’all, nothing has ever been so clear to me before. The word “missions” was taken to a whole new level, and I am so thankful.

This past week has been such an emotional, life-changing, and eye-opening experience for me. I have never been closer to the heart of Jesus, nor have I ever felt the call of God so strong on my life. I am so excited for all that the Lord has done in me and through me. I am expectant for this new season that I’m about to walk through, and I am willing beyond belief to walk through the doors that are opening. I just want to share that God will always provide and make a way. He is STILL the God of miracles, and He always will be.

¡Dios te bendiga!