The Summer I Fell in Love with Ministry

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send?

And who will go for us?"

And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

-Isaiah 6:8

I can honestly say that this past summer was the best summer of my life for many reasons.

I remember when God told me to go to Nicaragua the first time (back in 2015), and the emotions that came with that: confusion, shock, fear, excitement, happiness, and confidence in the fact that I knew that God wanted me to go. I had always said that I would never leave the comfort of my little bubble because that's not what God wanted me to do. Little did I know that I was very, very wrong. To make a long story short, I prayed a lot about this tugging I had in my heart to go to Nicaragua, and God gave me the confirmation I needed... so, I went. It was one of the best weeks of my life. It's funny how you go on a mission trip expecting to change other people's lives, but you come back with your life also being changed. When I got home, I found myself crying because I missed Nicaragua and everything that came along with it: the people, the culture, King's Castle, and the ministry. My heart would ache at the thought of not being able to go back the preceeding summer. Before I act upon anything, I have to make sure that it's what God wants. I never like to do anything without being sure that it's in God's will for my life, so I prayed about this ache that I had developed. God spoke to me so clearly and told me that my work there wasn't complete yet, so I signed up to go during the summer of 2016. This is where you get to see why I fell in love with ministry this past summer.

Before the summer even started, my prayer was for God to stretch me and take me deeper. I wanted to be used, and that's all there is to it. God didn't just answer my prayer, He exceeded it. The church I was going to be joining with to go to Nicaragua (Shoutout to Victorious Life) was going on an in-state mission trip called Impact. This is something that they do annually, and they kindly extended the offer for me to join them while they served. I said yes! I had no idea what to expect, but I had asked God to give me opportunities to step out of my comfort zone, and it was time for me to respond. Impact was in Elgin, TX this year, which isn't horribly far away. When we got there, I remember having a good mixture of nerves and excitement. They split everyone up into groups so we could get out of our bubbles, and meet new people. I love meeting new people, but it takes a little while for me to open up, so this was a little nerve-racking for me. Eventually, I was able to push past those nerves and really begin to form relationships. Our group was given our first task... painting a house. I had never had experience with painting houses, so I just assumed that it would be a piece of cake. If you don't know what it's like to paint a house, let me burst your bubble really quick and let you know that it's not easy at all. It took us 2-3 days to finish this task. However, it was all worth it to hear the lady express her love and appreciation for our work. It was such a rewarding feeling when I was reminded that all of that hard work wasn't for me, it was for woman so she would be able to see and experience a sliver of God's love. Our next task was at an animal sanctuary. This woman was older, so she couldn't clear the tree limbs and mud surrounding her fence. This work involved us being out in the heat of the day while working tirelessly to get the job done. We only had one day to complete this task because it was the last day, so we were also racing against the clock. We didn't want this woman to just have a clear fence, but also a clear representation of the kind of love Jesus has for her. After working all day, we finally finished and the feeling was just as rewarding as painting the house was. It was amazing. I can definitely tell you that I am not called to that kind of ministry, but I can say that I am so thankful that I was able to experience Jesus in a different kind of ministry setting.

The next thing on my summer agenda was to pack up and go to Nicaragua again. I had been waiting a whole year for the moment when I could a board a plane and go "home," as I liked to call it.

I like going into things like that with a prayer. I ask myself, "What do I want to get out of this experience?" I do this because someone once told me that you get out of the experience what you put into it. Leading up to Nicaragua, I had been struggling with my patience. It's easy to wait on God when you feel like you know what direction He's taking you, but it's harder to wait on Him when you honestly have no idea where He is taking you. I went into that week asking God to give me direction. I was about to start my senior year, and I had no clue what I was supposed to do after I graduate. I needed God to direct me and give me some kind of push in the right direction, or just some patience and peace while I wait.

In Nicaragua (2015), God used a little girl named Ashley to tell me that I belonged in children's ministry. He revealed to me this gift of working with and loving on children, and told me to use it.

(Back to 2016) I was so sure that I was supposed to end up in missions. However, all week, I had this wall of fear that surrounded me. I was fearful that God wouldn't call me to Nicaragua, and that was very hard for me. I never let this wall affect the way I ministered to the kids, but I never let God close enough to myself in order for Him to speak to me. The last night at the Castle, they have a little service for us before we would go home the next day. I remember sitting on the ground and, with tears in my eyes, repeatedly saying, "God, I am so sorry." I was so broken. I knew that I had neglected to let God close to me throughout the week, and I was feeling the effects of that. It was in that moment when God said, "Be still." Sometimes, we get so caught up in everything and forget that we just need to be still and let God speak to us, comfort us, and cover us with His love. I will never forget that day. Even though I didn't allow God to tear down that wall of fear until the last night, He still proved to be faithful (still does), and He gave me the peace I was searching for. It was a peace that surpasses any kind I had ever felt before. I may have not have known where I was heading, but God did. I found so much confidence that all the pieces to my story were going to be placed exactly where they would fit.

I'm happy to say that I have prayed about going back, and God has proved Himself faithful again. My work is still not completed in Nicaragua, and I will be going back for the third time during the summer of 2017!

After Nicaragua, it was time to go to camp. Normally, I go into camp with some kind of burden or barrier. This summer was different, though. I went into camp with the prayer that God would just give me an overabundance of Him. I had already stepped into His presence, but I wanted to be submersed with it. Throughout the course of the weekend, God gave me so many opportunities to pray over the students in my youth group. I had always been the one who needed prayer, but the tables were turned this year. I was able to stretch my ministry to those around me, and it was one of the best feelings. I got to be the leader that I had always dreamt of being as a kid. Praying over these students is one of the things that I live for. I loved the feeling of being able to pour into their lives, and pass along what Jesus had given to me. I left camp on a different level. Nothing was going to get in the way of my fire, because I wasn't going to let it happen.

Our kids were going to get to go to kid's camp for the first time, and I wasn't planning on going. However, two days before camp, I got this sudden motivation to go be a counselor. I thought it was too late, but our children's pastor made some phone calls and I was able to start packing my bag again. I have always been involved with our children's church, but I had never been put into that position of leadership before. During kid's camp, I was given countless opportunities to pray over these precious children and invest in their lives. I really believe that God used kid's camp to confirm what He told me back in 2015. I developed a greater love for these kids and their souls. It was such a beautiful experience.

I did not write this blog to boast about the things that I did this summer, but I wrote it as a testament to God's unending faithfulness. I hope you can understand why that was the best summer of my life so far, and how it made me fall in love with ministry. I walked away from the summer of 2016 with a greater heart for Jesus and what he has called me to. In Isaiah, he's not saying, "Here I am;" He's saying, "Here AM I." "Here I am" is telling God to come meet us where we are. It's telling God to fit His plan into what our lives are, instead of us fitting our lives into what His plan is. "Here am I" is telling God that we give Him full permission to do whatever He wants to with us. It's saying that we are willing to submit to whatever God wants from ourselves, and follow Him wherever He is leading us.

I challenge you to ask God to take you out of your comfort zone, and take you into greater depths that you've never experienced before. Say, "Here am I," and get ready for God to use you in ways that you've never been used before. Who knows, maybe you'll fall in love with ministry just as I did.